Receiving my Book
Alone…in a crowd of people
I can hear all the chatter, the laughter, the movements around me.
But here I am
Alone in a crowd of people
Heart pounding, clammy skin, anxiety knotting my insides
All alone in a crowd of people
I should have…I could have…
What will the outcome be?
Did I make it?
What will the others think of me?
What are we all chasing after?
Acceptance? Love? Recognition?
That new dress? Shoes?
Why?
What is this all for?
Those fleeting moments of peaceful joy…
That look of trusting love from my beautiful baby…his smile…his tiny fist curled around my finger
The lazy sounds of a perfect summer’s day…insects buzzing around…a soft breeze rustling the leaves in a tree
Beautiful moments…but so fleeting
Then..moments of heartache, anxiety, crushing disappointment…those moments of panic/ despair when there seems no way out
They pass too…
What are we all chasing after?
Eventually we’re going to be …alone in a crowd of people
Will I be of those who receive their Book in their left hands?
Feeling regret, overwhelming panic, horror…humiliation
I could have…I should have…
What have I done?!
Or will I be of those…
Please let me be of those…
I desperately want to be of those…
Who will receive their Books in their right hands…
How would I feel then?
How would you feel?
Intense happiness, joy…relief…gratitude
Pride…look at my Book! Show me yours!
An eternity of joy, contentment, love…bliss…
Stretching out before you?
An eternity of perfection…
Can you even imagine?
That is what we are chasing after
Part of a crowd of people
Exhilarated in their triumph and gratitude.
Together in a crowd of people.
