“What truly broke my heart” – Student Testimonial
Aslm beautiful sisters in Islam,
I am Malikah Van der Poll and I have only been around for 19 years and a couple of days Alhamdulillah, and what a journey it has been. Allah (swt) has honoured me with the gift of Islam moreover invited me to the banquet of Qur’an and has beautified me with the blessing of Iman, Alhamdulillah.
Journey to Allah
I truly hope that my words can be a means of inspiration to everyone listening and a reminder to myself firstly. The journey to Qur’an is also the journey to the truth, the journey to true success and love, best of all the journey to Allah (swt). And ultimately life is a journey from Allah to Allah, and imagine being denied the favour of knowing Allah.
The Qur’an changed my life completely. I can now look back to not even a year ago and I think to myself, “What was I thinking? Where was I going?”. It’s like the Qur’an put a completely new lens on my eyes. I used to be so insecure, I remember, it left me paranoid, especially with the society we live in today, depression was like the norm.
SubhanAllah, Allah and Qur’an and Islam freed me, while the Dunya only chained me. And when you’re in that state of mind of insecurity and Dunya, you look up to almost anyone and everyone, because your heart is looking for direction. It knows there is a purpose in life, but you’re just so blinded by ignorance that you think the purpose of life is to satisfy yourself and fulfil your desires, because that’s what life is about right?
NO, that’s what the world tells you life is about.
The state that we’re in
At that state, that’s when you lose your shame and your heart becomes hard like stone and your soul is dead, literally, and it’s like you’re here, but you’re not really here and who can save you in a situation like that? No one but Allah. And when you open your heart up to Allah and the words of Allah you will be illuminated with light and love from deep within your heart to everywhere you go. What a blessing that is! When you come find Allah that’s when you really come find yourself.
Allah will make the path easy for you, if you truly wish to please Him, and how can we please Allah when we don’t know what Allah wants from us? The Qur’an is our guide to gaining Allah’s pleasure, therefore I feel that as a Muslim it is your duty to know what the Qur’an says, because it’s a message from your Lord to you! And why would you not comprehend a message so great? Why would you not cling to it?
Nouman Ali Khan beautifully says: “You can try to read the Qur’an and get some of its message through your language, but the miracle is in the Arabic language and only in the Arabic language. Out of all the languages, Allah chose Arabic and its miracle and true beauty is in Allah’s words.’’
And here at Zahraa I can truly feel that, even though I need to beat the nahw and sarf into my head at times, Alhamdulillah. Allah comforted my heart in ways no one and nothing ever could:
I opened my heart to Allah telling Him I have many dreams I want to fulfil.
And Allah said to me: “Call upon Me, I will respond to you’’ [40:60]
I said: My Lord, I need hope, I’m so weak.
And Allah said: “So indeed with hardship is ease. Indeed with hardship is ease’’ [94:5-6].
Allah mentioned it twice SubhanAllah, and isn’t that exactly what you really would need in a difficult time, that true conviction that there is ease in this difficulty.
Then I pleaded: O my Lord, do not leave me.
And Allah said: “So remember Me, I will remember you’’ [2:152]
And I continued and I said: O my Lord, people hurt me.
And Allah said: “Do not let their words sadden you, indeed all honour belongs to Allah’’ [10:63]
But the verse that truly broke my heart with love for Allah was when Allah said:
“And He found you lost, so He guided you’’ [93:7]
Allah changed my life in a way that I no longer seek pleasure or acceptance from others, but from Him and in that I find myself pleased, Alhamdulillah. My heart is filled with immense gratitude towards Allah who favours me in more ways I could ever imagine, and Allah gives me confidence in knowing the truth. At Zahraa, you will come to find a home like no other home, an environment that’s safe and peaceful, a little piece of Jannah. You wouldn’t feel the need to be begged to come, unlike school where they’d often have to force me to go, while at Zahraa I don’t want to miss a single day, it’s where my heart yearns to be, close to Allah.
Come hand your heart over to Allah and come find true love for His Beloved (saw) and everyone He loves in a sisterhood that can last you Dunya and Ahkirah. But it all starts with a sincere intention of coming closer to Allah, through His words and the words of His Beloved Rasul (saw) and know that when you come to Allah walking He (swt) comes to you running…